Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Faith Formation Mass

We have Mass after Faith Formation every Wednesday night. It is a new addition to our Faith Formation schedule and I really like it. For awhile now, I have thought I should be attending daily Mass. I have probably actually attended daily Mass twice, ever. It is possible, I have attended more, but not much, and it has always been on Monday evenings, until this school year.

I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing the number of youth who stay after Faith Formation. Some weeks there are more than others. Every week, students from one of the classes assist with music, readings and prayers. The bigger the class, the more students stay. The younger the class, the more parents and younger siblings stay. Tonight, there were probably 30 people in attendance.

My favorite part of the Mass is the celebration of the Eucharist. Father invites everyone in attendance to come down around the altar. We are all within feet of the elevation of the Body of Christ. It is very powerful and moving. I didn't realize how spiritual it felt until last week, when we remained in our pews. It felt like something was missing.'

It was good to be close to Jesus tonight.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Falling Down on the Job

Months ago, I was starting a 40 day journey, or so I said. It didn't happen. I was paralyzed. There was too much to do, but most of it was busy work. My focus was on taking care of business, but not necessarily taking care of my spiritual business.

I had things to do. After all, I chaired the HarvestFest and the 125th Anniversary celebration of our Parish. I started the school year, chairing the Education Advisory Committee and sitting on the Parish Council as the reporting representative from the EAC committee. My husband and I began another school year teaching the 2nd grade class in Faith Formation. There were the Sunday obligation Masses and the Wednesday night Masses after Faith Formation. We had daily prayer before the kids headed off to school.

Somewhere in there, though, while I was trying to take care of the spiritual needs of my family, I wasn't taking care of my own. I couldn't even acknowledge my own. I didn't want to face my own.

So, here I am: gearing up for an Emmaus retreat, praying for peace, hoping for comfort, looking to re-connect with my own spiritual self.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Day Two...Return to the Basics

Somewhere, in the hustle of life, and the stepping out of "normal routine", my prayer life as suffered. Father Sam, who made such a simple request of one, just one, Hail Mary a day, hasn't been receiving hs requested prayers. Today, I returned to the basics of life, my prayer life. For Father Sam, I have said one Hail Mary.

Monday, August 10, 2009

The First Day

Today, I stepped outside of my quiet comfort zone. Today, I responded to a Caring Bridge entry for the first time. I have felt I have been living a life that isn't as fully connected as it should be. Because of that, I have been hesitant about sharing my feelings and thoughts. I don't want to appear hypocritical.

Today, I gain strength from the 23rd Psalm and hope others can, too. It is the proof we are not in this alone. We have a strong guiding presence walking this journey with each and every one of us. It is just a matter of coming through the dark periods to the light on the other side.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

40 Days

The post title and sentiment are the same for another blog posting I made this evening. I have not been dealing with my spiritual needs since the Las Vegas trip. I have not been spending time in prayer they way I should. All I can say is I have made it to Mass and said meal prayers. That isn't saying a lot.

Today, I will being a forty day journey through my personal desert. For the next 40 days, I will spend time in contemplative prayer. I will focus on my relationship with Jesus. I will work to reconnect with the spiritual side of my being and put it back on the forefront where it belongs.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Safely Home

It has been four days since we have been home. We were near multiple accidents, but didn't have one ourselves. We came through the mountains unscathed. There were challenges on the road, but a ready solution presented itself each time. The only answer for how that is possible is God rode this trip with us, every mile of the road.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Prayers Again

We were held up for another accident tonight, this time on Interstate 15, in Las Vegas. We offer prayers for those involved, from the driver to the witnesses, the rescue personnel to the ones who clean up after the accident and to all those who haven't been named. Please join us in an Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Prayers

Tonight, I ask for prayers for the anonymous person from the car accident on I-80. We came by in the aftermath, with the burned out shell of a car that had been obviously handled with a jaws of life and the emergency personnel still on the scene. It was horrific to see after it was all said and done. I can't imagine how it felt to see it when the car was on fire or when they were cutting the driver out.

As a family, we prayed for all those involved. I invite you to join us in an Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be for all involved today.

Travelling with Holy Water

Almost as a side note, as we walked out the door yesterday morning, I grabbed one of our bottles of holy water. I feel safer knowing we are starting our day with prayer and blessings as we embark on the next leg of our journey to Las Vegas. It was not on my packing list, though, so it must have been on someone else's. God is travelling with us this week.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Mount Rushmore

As part of our trip through South Dakota, the boys and I visited Mount Rushmore tonight. The whole feeling around the place is one of spirituality. The boys spoke in hushed voices without being prompted. I spoke in a hushed voice, without thinking about it.

I don't know the experience was "Catholic" necessarily, but it had a holiness. I will have to pray about this to get a better handle on how I felt and why I felt it. There wasn't a religious ceremony. It was a history lesson, coupled with the lighting of the Monument and recognition of past and present military. Rationally looking back, I don't see a reason for my feelings, but there were definitely there.

Maybe a little sleep will bring clarity.

Roadside Signs

We are travelling for my sister's wedding this week. Our journey started in Marshall and is currently resting in Rapid City, SD. All the way across South Dakota, I have seen billboards regarding faith. Some have been "messages from God". Others have been scripture. Still others have been condemnations. I wonder the impact of those signs on others. Do people read them? Do people jot down a scripture reference for later review? and if they do, do they follow up?

Some of the billboards I find interesting. Many I find offensive. None of them have I ever followed up on once I wke me.as home, although I have written down scriptures. It just didn't carry over the impact strong enough for me to finish off the process. I wonder how many people are li

Scapulars

It is time for me to look into another area of our faith. Scapulars are something I know very little about, and I should know more. I have seen them, usually at First Communion, but I have never studied them.

Today, there was an update on one of the women I have been praying for on a regular basis. She is battling cancer. Honestly, I am pretty sure she is in the final stages and the prayers should be more than God's will be done than to pray for recovery. At this point, it will take a miracle, although, that is within God's reach if He so chooses.

Her mother's only complaint or concern about the care she is receiving, other than her desire for her daughter's recovery, is the nursing staff takes off her scapular. Their priest was there today and have now tied it on to her arm with a silk string and a note to leave it on. I pray they will be able to respect the request. They are drawing so much strength from their faith, I know it reassures her mother to know it is on her body.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Celebrating the Body and Blood of Christ

Three years ago this week, on the Sunday commemorating the Body and Blood of Christ, we re-dedicated our wedding bands. My original set disappeared at some point when Dave's dad died. Dave gave me an anniversary band that Christmas, but I didn't have wedding rings for years after. Three years ago, he replaced them.

We had planned a trip to the Twin Cities that corresponded with our anniversary. Father Mike agreed to bless our rings at the baptismal font that was dedicated, in part, to the memory of Dave's parents. For more than one reason, it was a very special day.

I have never attended a Mass, other than Holy Thursdays, where the Eucharist moves in procession. That day was so spiritual. Almost the entire congregation followed the monstrance out of the Church. The walk around the city block was full of song and prayer. I cannot tell you how many people were there. I can tell you there was full participation. The voices raised together were so powerful, so resounding. I haven't felt anything like that since.

The tone of Mass this morning led us to believe today may be the day for another procession, but it was not to be. Maybe next year we will go back to St. Bernard's.

Eucharist

Father Larry's commentary in the bulletin at Immaculate Heart of Mary focused on living in the Eucharist. He stated we have to truly live as God asks us to be living in the Eucharist. Gossiping, speaking behind others' back, and being spiteful would not allow us to be one with the Eucharist. Therein lies a question. At what point does discussing your feelings and experiences cross the line to gossip and speaking behind others' back? I guess if you have to question if you should have said something, the answer has been given to you, or me, as the case may be.

Outward Signs of Faith

As I watched a reality program about re-doing outdoor spaces, it struck me. The man who was receiving the outdoor make-over was wearing a yarmulke. He is unapologetically Jewish. He is appearing on a nationally syndicated television program wearing a very outward and unmistakable symbol of his faith. How many of us are willing to do that? How readily do you share your faith with the world around you?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Skipping Mass

We made a quick trip to Sioux Falls today. We knew we were going to be home too late to be able to get to Mass this evening. Dave and I figured we would need to pick a Mass tomorrow, either at the lake or at home, but we didn't discuss that with the boys, exactly. We told them we had decided to skip Mass this weekend.

You should have heard the hollering in the car! As a matter of fact, you *might* have heard the hollering! We were informed we cannot skip Mass because we would be breaking the Third Commandment. We were told we cannot skip Mass because we are supposed to show God our love and respect to him by attending the Mass. Both of them were appalled at the mere thought of missing Mass.

I would say we are on the right track with them. I can only pray it will continue as they grow and mature, and move toward an independent relationship with Jesus.

Watching Your Child Die

A woman I have known of for more than six years is watching her daughter die by inches before her eyes. It was just a couple of months ago when some on-going complications with her lungs chased her into the doctor's office. The final diagnosis was lung cancer.

She is my age. She has a daughter fairly close in age to my children's ages. Her mother is about my mother's age. Her father is close in age to my father's age. Her mother has been caring for her father and his cancer issues for as long as I have known her. For the past weeks, she has been caring for her dying daughter and her daugher's daughter while trying to juggle life with her husband and her greyhounds.

My heart is breaking for them. I cannot imagine the pain of what they are dealing with right now. Please keep Patti and Fred, Dee and her husband, and the little one, in your prayers in the days ahead.

More Food For Thought

I received another email this morning. This one told of celebrities who had made disparaging comments about God and how their lives were shortened. I don't think for one moment everyone who dies young disrespected God, but it does give me a moment to pause and consider my attitude toward God. Am I respectful? Do I minimize the role God has in my life while maximizing the effect of my personal contribution?

Are You Jesus?

I received this in an email today. It really gave me some food for thought. I hope it does the same for you:

EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU JESUS?

As you read this, think about what you would do!

"Excuse me, Are you Jesus?" This is really powerful and makes one
think!

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales
convention in Chicago . They had assured their wives that they would be
home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with
tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over
a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere Without
stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time
for their nearly missed boarding.

ALL BUT ONE! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his
feelings, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose
apple stand had been overturned.

He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of
them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and
explain his taking a later flight... Then he returned to the terminal
where the apples were all over the terminal floor. He was glad he did.
The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears
running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly
groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one
stopping and no one to care for her plight..

The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put
them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this,
he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he
set aside in another basket.

When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl,
"Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?" She
nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil
your day too badly."

As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called
out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those
blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"

He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way
to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about
in his soul: "Are you Jesus?" Do people mistake you for Jesus? That's
our destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell
the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His
love, life and grace..

If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would.
Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church.
It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day.

You are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a
fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill
called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.

Please share this, Sometimes we just take things for granted, when we
Really need to be sharing what we know...

Thanks, and May GOD BLESS YOU.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Anger, A Deadly Sin

On Monday evening, we watched the next couple of segments of the Seven Deadly sins. Anger was the first one of the night, with the corresponding heavenly virtue of forgiveness. I find I am struggling with this. There is something that happened almost two years ago. In my heart, I truly thought I had forgiven the other person involved. I thought I had moved past it.

I was wrong.

Something happened last weekend, again. My feelings are hurt. I am frustrated and angry. The worst part is, I am not just upset about this weekend. Everything from two years ago is now sitting as a hard, hot knot firmly ensconced in the pit of my stomach. It is wreaking havoc on my life.

I am supposed to be forgiving as God has forgiven me. I just wish the "how" of that was more clearly explained. I don't know where to begin.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Gospel of John

For many months, I have had a study of the Gospel of John. I haven't done anything with it, other than moving it out of my way. This morning, I finally cracked the book. I have only gotten through the introduction, but already, I feel it grabbing me. For the first time, I see the Gospels as written by real men, who experienced life with Jesus, who saw the world through eyes similar to His. This is not just some story of faith, written two thousand years ago. This was life, lived two thousand years ago, by people who loved others, sweated in the heat, shivered in the chill air, felt pain and joy, and were able to walk with Jesus.

I am looking forward to the first study tomorrow.

Slacking

I wonder if there is any correspondence between my lack of posting and my feeling of distance from my faith. There is a desert in my life again. It is time to bring myself back to center.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Chant

It is amazing to me how many things you can learn if you have your ears open and pay attention.

Chanting has always touched my heart. There is something about the rhythm that draws me.

Tonight, we had play practice for The Sound of Music. We needed to practice all of the songs the nuns sing. There is a fair amount of Latin and it begins with a chant.

The choral director likes to explain the who, what and why of what we are doing as we go along. Today, he explained how chant developed. He said it was because a chanting voice carried, acoustically, to the back of the large churches prior to the invention of amplification equipment. It also maintained the prayerful tone of the Masses.

It was new information that gave me a different perspective, and respect, for another tradition of our faith.

Monday, June 1, 2009

She Called Back!

The person who most exemplifies living a life filled with the Holy Spirit called me back today. I don't think she has any idea the impact she has on others, just by living her life. Hopefully, this will show her how much I appreciate her.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Pentecost Today

Yesterday, the homily focused on how Pentecost continues to live on in today's society. I can say that isn't something I had considered prior to yesterday. To me, it was something given once and remembered since.

Father reminded us we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit from those around us. Everyone has someone in his or her life who brings a holy component to their lives. It could be through the opportunity to witness service to God and others. It might be through prayer. It might be through kindness that touches an individual during difficult times.

We were challenged to thank one of the people who brings the Holy Spirit to us on a personal basis in day to day living. I didn't have to think too hard about who I would call. There is a woman in my life who lives a faith filled, God-centered life. She prays regularly, and doesn't hesitate to do so in public. Her involvement with Emmaus is appreciated by everyone touched by her. Her attitude toward service is positive. I can't say enough about how wonderful she is, and she doesn't even realize it. Hopefully, she will return my call soon so I can tell her myself.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmmmm

The clear winner on what brings people to this blog is google searches and not just any google search. We have had visitors from Asia, Australia, Europe and North America all searching about "wife" and "discipline". I wonder if they found what they were looking for when they arrived.

New Priest in Winona Diocese

We attended Mass in Slayton this weekend. Father Arens was not there. During the homily, the presider told us Father wasn't available because he was at the ordination Mass for the newest priest in the Winona Diocese. There is only one new priest being ordained this year, but one is definitely better than none, and more than the New Ulm diocese is celebrating this year.

My favorite part of the Mass was the Prayers of the Faithful. The final prayer was one of Thanksgiving for the answered prayer for the newest priest. I think it would be wonderful if we regularly prayed for new people to answer the call to religious life whether as priests or nuns.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Prayers for Patrick

Patrick is a serviceman from our area. I promised his mom we would add him to our daily prayers. Unfortunately, we had a bit of a hurdle to jump with adjusting to evening prayer and we didn't have family prayer for several days. Please add Patrick to your prayers as well. He needs them, and I fell down on the job.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Evening Prayer

Morning prayer has made the official jump to evening prayer. We have had a few days without family prayer as we have adjusted to the new schedule since school has let out. This evening, we did family prayer before everyone went their separate ways for downtime before bed. I feel more peace today than I have for several days, and I hadn't even realized I wasn't feeling that peaceful until I had a bit of it back.

Martyrdom

Oh, the things you can find that suddenly seem so obvious when you had been completely oblivious to it previously. The Saint of the Day books I use for meditation purposes carry a lot of information. For obvious reasons, there are a fair number of people who have been martyred for their beliefs who have become saints. Considering I am an American who has never gone farther away than Canada, the likelihood of being martyred for being Catholic are slim to none.

Not to minimize loss of life, but the book today mentioned how we can be "martyred" as we defend our Catholic beliefs in regards to abortion, embryonic stem cell research, and other controversial religion based belief conflicts. I cannot, by any stretch of the imagination, claim to be martyred because of my beliefs. However, I can understand the trepidation one feels and the courage it takes to express your beliefs in the face of those who disagree. It is food for thought in how I treat the opinions and beliefs of others.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Prayers for Our Servicemen and Servicewomen

I know I am running late. It has been five days since I have been here to actually post the thoughts that have been spinning through my brain. Obviously, I missed Memorial Day.

Our family is full of proud veterans. We have had family members serving at least during the Korean War, Vietnam Conflict, Desert Storm and currently serving. My cousin has been in the military for more than 20 years. He has served in peaceful times and in war. He has been stationed stateside and overseas. He has absolute faith in Jesus and absolute faith in doing what he does to serve our country.

Because of him, I am more aware of the issues and struggles that can face the people who serve our country through my job. A young soldier is preparing to return home to Oregon from where he is currently stationed. It will be a brief visit, but he plans to title and register the new vehicle he purchased close to his base. We have made more phone calls to the DMV office to make sure all of his questions are answered before he catches his flight out than we have made on any ten other deals in our office. My prayer is this time we have put in now will translate into a smooth transaction for him when he gets there.

I pray for safety for our troops, courage in the face of daunting tasks, respect from those whose lives they are protecting, and absolute faith in the mission they have been given by God.

Broadcast Mass

I understand there is a benefit to broadcasting Mass for those who are unable to attend Mass in person. The broadcast, whether by television or radio, reaches multitudes of people who wouldn't otherwise be able to hear the Word of God, outside of their own individual studies. EWTN broadcasts Mass four times a day, beginning at 7am and ending at 11pm. XM117 broadcasts daily Mass at 7am. I think they broadcast Monday through Saturday, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility of a similar broadcast on Sundays.

Personally, I struggle with giving the proper amount of respect and attention to the Mass when it is broadcast and I am not physically at the Mass. My mind has a tendency to wander. Before I know it, I have picked something up to read or work on, which I would never dream of doing in person. I think it is because I am not in the physical presence of the Eucharist.

St. Joseph's Cathedral, Take Two

I am so glad I was able to go to the Cathedral last weekend. They have just a few more weekends before the Cathedral will be closed for renovations. They are anticipating the restoration process to take approximately two years. I cannot imagine celebrating Mass in an alternative home for that long while renovations were taking place. Our prayers are with the families of St. Joseph's Cathedral as they embark on this journey.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

St. Joseph's Cathedral

Today, I am going to Sioux Falls for a shopping trip with my mother and sister. Because of the time we are leaving and how long we plan to be there, we will attend Mass at St. Joseph's Cathedral. The acoustics make it difficult to hear if someone is speaking away from the altar, but it is an absolutely gorgeous Church.

The stained glass windows are original to the Cathedral. There is some need for restoration, as there is in most aging Church buildings, but it doesn't detract from the overall reverent feel of the place. Even if you didn't know it was a Church, you would still feel like you needed to speak in hushed tones. There is just that aura about it.

I am looking forward to the afternoon.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Faith Based Medical Decisions

Many years ago, more than I can remember without counting on my fingers, my speaking topic for Original Oratory was about the consequences of forgoing medical treatment based on faith. Typically, I had prepared my speech by researching the opposing argument and preparing my speech to argue against my original belief. As an unrelated side note, it was during one of these exercises I was able to more fully explore my feelings on abortion and officially changed my perspective from "pro-choice" to "pro-life."

This topic, however, I couldn't begin to argue. I do not believe my faith is weak. I know God is capable of any miracle he chooses to impart. I also believe God has been able to give the gift of knowledge to the doctors and researchers in order to be able to adequately treat medical crises.

Currently, there is a 13 year old boy, on the run with his mother, from a neighboring town. They are fighting the court system because they want to force the child to receive chemotherapy to deal with his lymphoma. The mother wants to treat her son with natural remedies, to date largely unsuccessfully.

My prayer tonight is for Daniel to come home to his father and those who love him. I pray the mother is able to see the light before it is too late. I also pray for peace for his father while he waits for his wife and child to return.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Feast Days

My grandmother said you had to make up with your feet what you don't have in your head. Today proved that point yet again. Last night, I rode in Dave's car, and I left my cell phone in the car rather than bringing it into the house. This morning, he left me a voicemail message at work to let me know my cell phone was still in his car, parked outside his employer's office, and he left it unlocked for me so I could pick it up.

Me and my feet (or vehicle as the case may be) headed to Cottonwood to pick up my phone. There is a detour now, so it is about a half an hour over and a half an hour back. One upside is I had a wonderful opportunity to listen to The Catholics Next Door.

The topic of conversation today, at least the part that made an impression, was about Feast Days. Today is the actual Day of Ascension. A number of diocese, in a handful of states, celebrate today. All of Europe, except Great Britain, celebrates today. The rest of the United States has opted to move the celebration of the Feast Day to the seventh Sunday in Easter.

Which leads me to the question...why?

Pilgrimages

Are pilgrimages realistic in a modern world? How far do you go to make it a pilgrimage? To me, I always thought of a pilgrimage as a trip of great distance, like to Jerusalem. Last year, we began to explore the idea of a trip to the EWTN headquarters. The information we found specifically referred to people who make pilgrimages there.

To be purely technical, it would probably be safe to say any journey with the specific expectation of religious or spiritual growth or enlightenment would be a pilgrimage. I am just not convinced it is a pilgrimage for me to travel to New Ulm. Whether it is a pilgrimage or not, I feel spiritually reconnected having spent some time at the Way of the Cross and in the Chapel there.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Jesus Consoles the Women

We went to the Way of the Cross this morning. As we were coming back down the hill, at the same station, I again felt the presence of my Grandmother. Today, though, I looked at what the station was. It is the Station where Jesus consoled the women of Jerusalem. There are two women, one holding a little child. I would love to be able to ask her if this was one of her favorite stations to pray. Did she reflect more on this station? Did she draw strength from it as a wife, a mother, a woman?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Way of the Cross

I am so excited! I have been planning to go to the Way of the Cross, in New Ulm, with a friend of mine since Good Friday. Tomorrow is the day. We are leaving tomorrow morning, after I put the boys on the bus. She is one of my Emmaus sisters, a woman I have been privileged to walk the Road with and I am looking forward to the opportunity to walk a little further with her tomorrow.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Morning Blessings

Our family's morning schedule currently runs very closely together. Dave leaves for work just before 7am. The boys leave on the bus just a few minutes after 7am. At 645 every morning, we gather for morning prayer. It begins with a Hail Mary for Father Sam and ends with a blessing with holy water.

School ends on Friday. The boys will not be on the same schedule as Dave any longer. The challenge will be to re-work our prayer life to ensure we still have our daily prayer when we are not on the same morning schedule any longer.

Make Love

The theme from the homily this weekend was about the conscious decision to make love in daily lives. The priest cited statistics that showed, at least in the eyes of that poll maker, the benefits of a morning kiss from a spouse. Supposedly, those who kiss their mates live longer, have less accidents, and suffer fewer serious medical issues.

Although I did catch myself double-taking every time Father said "Make love", his message was consistent and thought provoking. It is easy to forget to show those around you the love you feel for them. It is easy to make conversations between spouses to be about the household chores or issues with the children rather than personal conversations just about the two of them. It is way to easy to focus on where kids screw up rather than where kids excel.

Today, I will focus on showing my love to my family in word and deed, not just going through the motions of being a wife and mother.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Called by God

One of my favorite Gospels was read this weekend. "It is not you who called Me, but I who called you." We have been called by God, who knows the number of hairs on our heads, to do as He commands. It is not about our own desires, but about following where we are being led. This weekend has helped me reconnect with my faith, something I have felt lacking the last several weeks. Thank you, God, for calling me.

Back to Currie

Camping at the lake has resumed. We have now had two or three Saturday overnights at the camper. This weekend, Saturday evening Mass resumed in Currie. It feels good to be back at our home away from home.

One of the traditions I enjoy the most there is actually at the end of Mass. The final song is sung. The priest and servers process out. All throughout the Church, the kneelers thump down again. Almost every person there kneels again. It took me two summers to work up the courage to ask someone why they did that.

The entire parish prays, at the end of every mass, an Our Father for the repose of the souls of those who die without the benefit of clergy present them. I don't know how the tradition started. I don't know if I ever will uncover the history of it. It is such a powerful tradition to be a part of, though. Everyone coming together to pray for people they may never meet, week after week.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Holy Water Returns

I have been slow on getting holy water picked up at the Church. There isn't an excuse, I just haven't done it. This morning we had holy water in the font for prayer. Carter was so excited. He was ready for morning blessings again. I feel better just knowing we have holy water in the font again.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Prayers for Judy

I don't know what to say. Judy has been my mom's closest friend since one of her sons and I were in first grade. I spent more suppers at her house than I can count. She is the first person who ever prayed the rosary with me.

She has been battling cancer for most of my life. She has beaten breast cancer and uterine cancer. Now, however, she is battling something even bigger. It was liver cancer. Now it is also colon cancer. Treatment, other than palliative care, is being suspended. She will continue to receive chemo to keep her comfortable and maintain her quality of life.

She is so brave. She told one of her daughters-in-law she would have been frightened twenty years ago, but her job is done. Judy is ready to be ready to do as God's will is for her. My prayer for her and her family is peace in the face of the upcoming events.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Daily Reflection

During the season of Lent, I made a concentrated effort to reflect on my relationship with God. I felt I was making good progress through those 40 plus days. Since Lent has ended, however, while the daily reflections have continued, it doesn't feel quite the same. I am not sure what has happened to change, but I feel like there is a distance growing in my faith. The postings I have made seem more like fluff than substance. Obviously, it is time to go back to a more basic approach to faith. The first stop will be stopping at the Church in the morning to refill the holy water bottles so our holy water font can go back to daily use.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Bible Studying

I am working my way through the Bible. It is supposed to be a year long study. Some days, though, there are 30 pages of reading between the study verses. I found I wasn't able to keep up with the reading, so I was fighting with continuing the study. Now, I have two bookmarks in the Bible. One is where the daily study is located. The other is where I really am in the readings.

Currently, I am almost 200 pages behind. I don't know that I will ever catch up, unless I get "lapped" as I do the study again next year. I think it is better that I take my time to thoroughly read and understand instead of rushing, just to get the pages done. Now, I just need to accept where I am, and know it is okay to be there.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day Blessings

God blessed me with two wonderful sons. They are normal, active, healthy boys, who sometimes drive me crazy. Every day, I thank God for the blessings they are. I cannot imagine where I would be if they weren't here.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Relationship Changes

Today, I realize I feel I am drifting from the closeness to God I felt during the Lenten season. I am not sure what the difference is, or why I am feeling the change today, but I do. I almost feel adrift, lost a little, struggling to find my own way. In Mass today, I felt disconnected a little. I don't know the cause, but it is time for some reflection as to why.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Faith

"Faith is not believing that God can, but knowing that God will." There is a plaque on our dining room wall that has this on it. Every now and then I look at it and contemplate what it means. I don't think this means God will make life smooth, even though he can. To me, it means nothing is done alone; God is with me every step of the way. If it is God's will certain things happen, then they will. It is comforting to feel this way. It gives me strength.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Samuel

Yesterday's Scripture study was the story of Samuel. Multiple times in the night, God called Samuel and each time, Samuel went to Eli. Eli sent him back to bed. Then, Eli realized God was calling Samuel. He advised Samuel to answer God the next time He calls.

Which leads me to wonder, how many times have I been called and I looked to someone else rather than to the One who called me?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Quiet Night

It is the first Wednesday since Faith Formation has ended. Having nothing on the agenda for a Wednesday doesn't feel quite right. There was no lesson prep, no time in prayer in preparation, no rushing to get everything done before we leave, no nothing. It feels very desolate tonight.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Catholic Schools

Catholic Schools are an excellent way to educate children academically while teaching the principles of the Catholic faith. Our local parochial school has a high percentage of alumni on the honor roll, participating in fine arts and academic extracurricular activities as well as athletics and even have a current FFA State officer. While we didn't make the choice to send our own children to the parochial school, I am still a strong supporter of the school and its programs. Unfortunately, I think parents sometimes have unrealistic expectations of what a school can reasonably offer and accomplish, even with the best of intentions.

With a declining child population, Catholic Schools will continue to struggle with enrollment numbers. My prayer is for more parents of younger children to fully explore the opportunities related to schools before making their decisions about enrollment.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Impact of Swine Flu on the Mass

The hazards of swine flu are becoming apparent, even here in southwestern Minnesota. Tonight, there were three changes requested and/or made during the Mass. First, we received the Eucharist only under one kind. Because of the concern about disease transmission, only the Body of Christ was to be received this evening. Second, the Sign of Peace is optional in the liturgy at this time. This was also going to be omitted to avoid unnecessary touching of others. Finally, the people of the Slayton parish traditionally hold hands, all over the church, during the Our Father. Father explained there is no liturgical basis for this and requested everyone fold their hands in front of themselves for the prayer, rather than holding hands.

We made it through the Mass without too many issues. Someone behind us started offering the Sign of Peace, I think out of habit, but someone else explained to her.

Carter, however, didn't like that we couldn't hold hands while we prayed. We hold hands for morning prayer, for meal prayer, to pray to Saint Anthony. I can't think of a time when we don't hold hands when we pray. Poor kid will just have to adapt.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Faith Formation End for the Year

This week we said good bye to the 21 students we have worked with this past year. I can't believe the year is over already. It feels like it just started.

My prayer for them is for them to continue to feel the love of God and to celebrate it often in the Eucharist.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Prayers For Those In Need

Sometimes need is obvious. Sometimes, it comes in the form of prayer requests. Sometimes, it comes when you see the need in person. Sometimes, it comes in the form of anonymous letters filled with anti-Catholic rhetoric printed from hate-filled websites. After a lot of contemplation and discussion since mail time yesterday, Dave and I have decided our best course of action in dealing with this person is to pray for them. Our prayers are for God to teach his or her heart with compassion, acceptance, and love for others.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Letters from Anonymous

First of all, only cowards send out anonymous information. Second, if you are going to send anonymous anti-Catholic information via United States Postal Service, you should make sure the information you include is at least timely, after all the information still claims Pope John Paul II is alive. Third, it is always interesting to be able to see exactly where and when the information was printed prior to it being mailed out.

At some point, I will have more to say on this particular subject, but right now, I am just plain irritated.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

More First Communion

Yesterday, I wrote about the 10am Mass for First Communion. It wasn't our only First Communion Mass, however. We also had the noon Spanish Mass. Fourteen children received their First Communion. Originally, we had expected 13, but one was unable to receive here. Then, surprisingly, we had two extras. I will need to touch base with the DRE to make sure their paperwork is in order and their certificates are issued.

It was an entirely different atmosphere than at the 10am Mass. There had been a miscommunication somewhere along the line. Mass started around 1215 because of the time overrun for the 10am Mass. Some of the families had been told Mass wasn't going to begin until 1230. There were a few First Communicants taking their places in their pews during the second reading.

There are different traditions, probably culturally related, which are very moving. Each of the Communicants was escorted down the center aisle by his or her Godparents. The children each had their own pew for their family.

During the "Our Father", each of the Communicants stood at the front of the Church, facing the pews. Their Godparents stood behind them. Each had a candle which was lit by Father immediately prior to the prayer.

Four of the girls served as ushers during the collection. Then they brought the gifts forward. Each bowed and returned to their pew.

They received their First Communion, surrounded by their families. Many, many pictures were taken. I even saw a few camcorders.

Afterward, it was like a small party in the Church. The First Communicants posed for pictures with the priest. Then they posed with their Godparents. After that were the pictures with the family. We even had one ask us to pose with her.

It was a very blessed day.

First Communion

56 second and third graders received their First Communion at the 10am Mass today. Another fourteen, starting at 2nd grade, received their First Communion at the noon Mass. It is a pretty awesome experience to witness that many people participating in the Sacrament for the first time. There were more than 800 people in Mass at 10am. It was wall to wall people, all the way to the back of the balcony.

Each of the kids played an instrumental role in the Mass. The Mass opened with a number of the kids playing piano pieces. Then, ten kids each brought a rose forward to be placed in a vase on the altar. All of the children were escorted down the center aisle by their parents. They bowed at the front before they turned and walked to their pews.

The first two readings were done by five of the First Communicants. Then another eight read the Prayers of the Faithful. After the homily, the altar was dressed. I think that is my favorite part of the Mass. The transition from bare wood to ready to serve the Eucharist brings tears to my eyes.

They received their First Communion as family units, each child flanked by both parents. They returned to their pews. At the end, all of the First Communicants stood on the altar and sang their First Communion song before they were dismissed two by two. It was truly awe-inspiring.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Meatless Fridays

As a family, we abstain from meat on Fridays year round. We do not restrict our abstinence to the season of Lent. Sometimes, this is easier than others. Rarely do we eat out on a Friday, unless we order a cheese pizza for delivery. We prefer to keep our entertaining to Saturday nights, if we are doing any weekend entertaining.

Life, however, has a tendency to interrupt. Many school related evening functions happen on Friday nights rather than Saturdays. Quite a few of these activities involve food. It isn't always easy to stick with the program. Meat based foods are more commonly served. At that point, it is decision time. Is it an opportunity to remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us? Is it "ok" to cheat "just this once" and have the meat based food? Is it embarrassing or does the choice regarding meat draw unwanted attention?

We had the middle school lock in at school tonight. Pizza was the primary food, supplemented with chips and cookies. Christian's favorite kind of pizza is pepperoni. Tonight, I saw he choose cheese pizza. I didn't prompt him in any way. He just choose to bypass the pepperoni.

I am hopeful this is the sign of a good foundation he is willing to build on as he grows and matures.

Morning Prayer

Our room is arranged so the bed is tucked into one corner. The headboard is against one wall and the side of the bed is against another. One side of the bed has open floor space. That is the side Dave sleeps on. I sleep by the wall.

This morning when I woke up, there was a dog between me and the free floor space. She was being more than a little stubborn and didn't want to move. I told Dave this must mean I was supposed to stay in bed and he was supposed to put the kids on the bus.

Carter was just coming out of the bathroom and has a wonderful ability to hear anything anyone says. His response? "What about morning prayer??" He sounded just appalled I would skip the opportunity for morning prayer to sleep in.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Preparation for First Eucharist

A school year of preparation is in the process of drawing to a close. Primarily second grade students from the Catholic School and Faith Formation program, 68 children are days away from receiving their First Eucharist. Tonight is the practice session for the 10am Sunday Mass.

56 second and third grade students will receive at the 10am Mass. Each of them will have a special part in the Mass. Some will do the readings. Others will say the prayer intentions. More still will be involved in the presentation of the gifts and dressing of the altar. Older siblings will be the servers and greeters for the Mass.

They will have the opportunity tonight to come together as an entire group and rehearse their parts as a final preparation for Sunday.

Last Sunday, the remaining 12 practiced for the noon Mass. For them, it is now just a countdown until their Mass. They are all in our prayers in these final days of spiritual preparation.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Kids Against Hunger

Faith Formation classes, as are regularly held, are done for the year. We have two class times left before the year is officially over. Today, we will have a work day at our local armory. Next week will be the closing celebrations. In between, we will celebrate the First Eucharist for 69 young people in our parish.

During Lent, the children in both the Faith Formation and the Catholic School programs raised money to package food for underprivileged families. It is part of our mission and has been for the past several years. The expectation for each of the family formation families will be an hour of service in set up, packaging, or clean up. This is an opportunity to put our talk into action.

I look forward to spending the time with the boys today, working together on packaging meals.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Christian Turns 13

I am not sure how this happened. It feels like yesterday, we brought home a tiny, orange baby from the hospital, with all of the blessings and miracles his birth brought into our lives. He is now a teenager. First of all, I am not old enough to be the mother of a teenager. Second of all, it is not possible he has lived enough experiences to be a teenager already.

He is caught in the middle ground of childhood and manhood. I am blessed to be walking this path with him. I am looking forward to continuing the journey.

Inaccurate Representation on Television

Watching television has a tendency to irritate me. I enjoy watching many shows, but there are little components which bother me. My favorite shows are CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York and NCIS. People die in those shows. Rarely does anyone check a pulse and even more rarely does anyone attempt CPR. As a CPR and First Aid instructor for more than a decade, it puts my teeth on edge every time I see it. I didn't think anything could be more annoying.

I was wrong.

Today, I watched a rerun of Cold Case. One of the early scenes involved the man in charge of the Cold Case Unit speaking with his brother the priest. A man who had come to him for confession years before had recently died. The priest gave his brother a direction to go on an old case involving a young boy who drowned based on the confession, which was okay because the man was now dead.

Nope, skipping pulse checks and CPR is not annoying at all. Why do people think they can take creative license with something as serious as the sacraments? It is so inappropriate it isn't even funny. How many people will view this episode and wonder if their secret confession will someday be fodder for discussion because they are dead? How many who don't know how the Sacrament of Reconciliation really works will leave that show with a skewed understanding of the Sacrament? How much fuel will be given to the fire of those who are not Catholic, who belittle, in particular, the Sacrament of Reconciliation because they don't understand and this representation supports their view of reality?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Doubting Thomas

Today's Gospel reading was the story of the apostle Thomas, and his doubts about the others having seen actually seen Jesus. Father's reflection on the Gospel wasn't strictly on the "Doubting Thomas" component, but more on who Thomas the man really was. I had never considered who the man himself was. It is easy to judge based on the perception you have of the actions another takes. I know I have judged based on behavior before. It isn't something I am proud of, but I have had a gut reaction based strictly on what I saw and how I perceived what I had seen. I have reacted according to my perceptions.

It was a reminder there is more to the story than meets the eye.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Liberal Catholic versus Conservative Catholic

What exactly is the point of the discussion of "Liberal Catholicism" versus "Conservative Catholicism"? How is it possible to be either liberal or conservative? Catholicism is Catholicism, with its rules and regulations, traditions, sacraments, music, prayers. Maybe if we remembered that more often, and focused on living a Catholic life, we would be in a better place.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Youth Activities

Our parish hosted a "Guys Night Out" event this evening for the 6th through 8th grade boys. There were around 25 boys who attended tonight. They were able to play on the Wii, play cards, play touch football and have a feast of tacos and ice cream.

I am excited about the number of activities our parish has been offering to the youth this past year. There have been several Friday evening events. I appreciate the opportunity for our sons to be able to spend an evening with people their age in a supervised setting with age appropriate activities. It is a relief to know they are developing friendships with kids who share a similar belief system.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Countdown to First Communion

Dave and I are nearing the end of our time with this year's class preparing for First Communion. We have had our last actual class session. Today was the planning session for the teachers as the students' roles in the Mass were outlined. This Sunday will be the practice for the Hispanic Mass. Next week will be the practice. A week from Sunday will be the Mass. This year, we have twenty one children in our class. There will be a total of 72 children receiving this Sacrament within the next ten days in our local area.

They will have one more weekly Mass before they are able to fully participate in the Eucharist. It has been a privilege to have spent this time with them. I can hardly wait to witness their next steps toward full participation in the Catholic Church.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Christian Film Festival

We were watching the Duggar family and their show "18 Kids and Counting" this evening. There was a re-run of an episode from shortly after the littlest Duggar was born. The entire family traveled to the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival. It was an opportunity for their family, from the littlest ones on up, to enjoy some time together in a movie theater watching films appropriate for all levels but still entertaining for everyone.

The movies that were featured look interesting. I could see a number of them appearing on our NetFlix movie queue. I am not convinced, though, our movie viewing should be restricted completely to films approved by this entity or a similar one. It is important to portray solid Christian values in film-making. Christianity encompasses more than one specific religion and sometimes the ideals of Christian living becomes more narrowly focused. Like any other area, personal discretion will still come in to play.

Here is the link to the festival I mentioned, if you are interested in checking out the recommended movies:
San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival

Monday, April 13, 2009

Asking For Prayers

I received a heartfelt email today, asking me, specifically, to pray for a friend who was in need. What an awesome responsibility. Asking for prayers isn't just something to say in passing. Stating you will pray for someone shouldn't just be lip service. Prayer is powerful, all-encompassing, and a gift, not one to be taken lightly.

Lord, I ask you be present with those in need today. Please bring peace and justice to those who seek it. Please let them feel your presence to know they are not alone. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Jesus Christ is Risen!

Today is the first day of the new walk with the resurrected Jesus. It won't be long until we begin to hear the readings of what life was like in the days immediately after Jesus was raised from the grave. It is a time of discovery and hope.

It is also the day where we are released from the sacrifices we made during the Lenten season. The boys were all over that when they realized it. As a matter of fact, we were headed down to Mom's for Easter dinner and Carter suggested we stop in the next town in order to buy a Dr. Pepper. Obviously, we didn't, but they were able to have a pop at Grandma's.

I am not sure how I feel about my ability to return to "normal life". I understand the time of commemoration of the sacrifices Christ made for us is past for this year, but I don't know I should walk back away from it without a backward glance. There are too many instances in life where I take the easy way. For now, I will continue. I also feel it is harder since now it isn't an expectation, so this might make the sacrifice more real to me today.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Self Examination

Today brings Lent to a close. When it started, my intention was to examine my faith life on a daily basis and blog about what I have learned about myself and my relationship with God. The journey is continuing, but the daily posting will draw to a close tonight. Thank you for walking this journey with me.

Seder Meal

We had our first annual Seder meal this past Saturday night. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how much preparation went into the process and we had to rush just a little bit in the final stages of preparation. The meal was intended to begin at 6 and last until 7. We didn't get to the table until 6:15.

The Seder meal is very complicated and follows quite a few rituals. It opens with a ceremonial lighting of candles. It progresses through readings from the Book of Exodus. There are ritual questions and answers. Different foods are used to remind the participants of the tears shed, the bitter anguish experienced under the rules of the Egyptians. It is complicated and emotional.

Having read through the ritual in advance, I thought I was prepared for the different food needs of the evening. Once we began, I learned there are some things to be done differently next year. Ultimately, I learned a great deal from this experience, even with the areas lacking a little in the execution.

Up until this weekend, the book of Exodus was just another book of the Bible. The stories of the plagues, the escape from Egypt, they were abstract stories but I didn't really connect them with real life. Our Seder Meal experience made it very real, very present in our current lives.

Friday, April 10, 2009

My Other Grandma

My mother was raised in New Ulm, MN. She received her first Holy Communion at Holy Trinity. She attended the Catholic School for 3rd and 4th grade. I have known some of this for more years than I can remember. Somehow, though, I never connected the New Ulm, MN, where she was raised with the New Ulm, MN, where our diocese is based.

As I may have mentioned earlier, we had planned to attend The Way of the Cross, as led by Bishop John LeVoir, in New Ulm today. We MapQuested the directions to the offices of the Diocese. We pulled in, about 15 minutes early, but there wasn't a person in sight. A quick call was made to a good friend of ours, who answered right about the time we turned the corner and saw the cars backed half way up the hill. Fortunately for us, we stumbled on it just in time.

The Way of the Cross was amazing. I don't have words to adequately describe what the experience was like, but I will try. Other than some technical issues with the sound equipment, the prayers went off without a hitch. 160 people were in attendance, approximately four times the number who typically attend the 3pm Way of the Cross on Good Friday. Personally, I think the Bishop held quite the power to draw people in today.

Each of the Stations is a beautiful piece of statuary, brought over from Germany more than 100 years ago. Each piece is encased behind glass in a brick shelter. At the halfway point, there is a grotto for Our Lady of Lourdes. Finally, at the end is a gorgeous chapel. It is a very holy and mystical place.

We prayed the Stations and spent some time in the Chapel. Because of the number of people in attendance, we were not able to spend a lot of time actually looking at them as we moved past each of them. On our way back down, we stopped at each of the Stations and looked at them in detail. The sculptures are so detailed, so delicate, so perfect.

We were about halfway back down when it struck me. The Way of the Cross has been there for more than 100 years. This was there when my mother was a little girl. This was there when my grandparents were young parents. My grandmother, a very devout Catholic woman, could have prayed there, as we were praying there today.

She died when I was seven. I never knew her well, or at least not well like I knew my other grandmother who lived until I was in my mid-teens, or the way Dave knew his grandparents who lived until he was in his late twenties or early thirties. Today, though, I think I might know her better. I truly felt her presence with me, and I still have a residual feeling of warmth.

I have thought more about her today than I have in a long time. I remember the sound of her rosary beads clicking in her apron pocket. I remember sitting with her in Mass when I was a very little girl. I remember listening to the words I couldn't understand at the Latin Mass they attended. I remember the feel of warm hugs and the smell of her kitchen. I remember the green pepper cookie jar in the pantry and the sugar cookies she used to keep in them. I remember the smell that was distinctive to their house. I remember feeling truly loved when I was there.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Shadow Stations of the Cross, Take Two

Tonight was the night. The confirmation class from Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church put on Stations of the Cross, in shadow. There is something so indescribably moving hearing the story of Jesus' journey to the grave while seeing the story in relief. Other than the voice of the narrator, the room was silent. The Church is a smaller Church, located in a smaller town. There were probably 50 people in attendance.

It was completely narrative. Each Station had one pose, except forThe lights came up again the Station where Jesus was nailed to the Cross. It was back lit when the explanation of the Station was done. The light went down and the prayer for the Station was said while the students re-positioned themselves for the next Station.

The Station when Jesus is nailed to the Cross was the only exception. For this one, the students were back lit showing Jesus with one arm on the Cross. The lights dropped and a hammer sounded three times. The lights came back up showing Jesus other arm now on the Cross. The lights dropped again and the hammer sounded three more times. For the third time, the lights came up. This time, the person with the hammer was kneeling at Jesus' feet. The lights dropped for the third time and the hammer sounded three more times. When the lights came up for the final time, Jesus was completely nailed to the Cross.

The hammer echoed in that Church basement. I could feel it in my chest with each strike of the hammer. Tears were in my eyes when Carter reached over and squeezed my hand.

If you ever had the opportunity to experience the Stations of the Cross in shadow, don't pass it up.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Patron Saint

This morning, Greg and Jennifer Willets (The Catholics Next Door) were discussing their current internet issues. They spoke of praying to Saint Isadore, the patron saint of the internet, to help them by keeping the internet operational during their show today.

There are a plethora of saints who are the patrons of almost any subject imaginable. Saint Anthony is the patron saint of lost objects. Saint Jude is the patron saint of lost causes. Dave gives me a hard time about the special relationship I have developed with Saint Anthony. It seems I am praying to him on a regular basis, usually related to my car keys. Just the simple act of praying has a calming influence on me. Once I am calmed and centered, it is so much easier to locate an object than when I am uptight and scatter brained because I am under the pressure of walking out the door "right now" without my keys.

Saint Anthony, though, is the only saint, other than the Virgin Mother, who I communicate with on a regular basis. Considering what I learned about Saint Isadore today, it might be time to learn about a few more. Which saints do you reach out to in your times of need?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Bible Reading

Why is Bible reading more difficult than "regular" reading? I can read a book in an evening. It took me five hours to plow through the last Harry Potter book. My daily Bible reading today should have been 15 pages. It should have taken me 15-20 minutes, tops. With a little time for reflection, it should have been a half an hour or so of prayer time.

I can't wrap my mind around why this should be more difficult. I take a few minutes at a time, but I have difficulty focusing long enough to get through a chapter. It is possible the material is just so much more challenging than light reading. It is possible it is daunting because it is "The Bible." Or it is possible I just have a hang up.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Shadow Stations of the Cross

For the summer, we attend Mass at a small Church a few miles away from our seasonal campsite. This weekend, we had a Boy Scout camping trip near there. We attended Palm Sunday Mass there yesterday. While we were there, they made an announcement about the Masses for Holy Week. So, this Thursday, we will be attending a shadow Stations of the Cross and Mass in Currie instead of here at home.

Shadow Stations of the Cross is how I fell in love with the devotional. Christian was in second grade and we had just returned to the Church. We took every spiritual opportunity that came along. We soaked up the experiences. Very early on, one Wednesday evening the high school students put on a Stations of the Cross devotional. A large white sheet was on the altar. The lights went down in the Church and the white screen was illuminated from the rear. It was magical as the fourteen stations were acted out behind the screen. Since then, I have wanted to experience the Stations of the Cross the same way, but I haven't had the opportunity.

We had originally planned to do a Seder Meal Thursday, but we won't be able to work that in with the trip to Currie. We will save that for another day. I have found a menu plan and prayer service for that, but I will save that post, too.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Fear

It is normal and natural to experience fear. It is okay to hope for a different outcome than what is expected. It is fine to pray for alternative answers. The key is understanding we must follow God's will. His answer to prayers may be "No!"

Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane for the upcoming events to be taken from Him. He wanted God to say, "That's okay. You came close enough. You will not have to suffer the crucifixion." He was prepared for the answer to be "No", but he still asked. By the end of the third hour of prayer, he had resolved to accept his Father's answer as the one He would need to abide.

How often do I argue with the path I know I am to follow? How hard do I bargain, hoping for a different answer? Why is it so hard to accept God's will must be done?

Saying Yes

How often are we truly called to service? How do we know? Do we say "Yes" when called?

Today, we attended the Farewell to Arms program at Southwest Minnesota State University. 400 National Guard members from our area are being called to Active Duty status effective 4/15/09. Some of them were recognized in our community at this event. Today was the ceremony to make that call official.

It was an awe inspiring sign as those men (and one woman) all said "Yes!" to their call to serve our country as well as the State of Minnesota. There had to be fear and sadness among them, but as each unit member's last name was called, he or she replied with their first name, middle initial and First Sergeant! as they ran to take their position in the ranks.

They said Yes!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Drawing To A Close

Lent is winding down already. This weekend is Palm Sunday. Next week is Holy Thursday, Good Friday and then the Easter Vigil. I can't remember a time when Lent has flown by quite so quickly. This week, I gave the final reminder to our class about Stations of the Cross. It seems like just yesterday was the first reminder.

For me, Lent has been a voyage of challenges in my journey to Christ. I finally feel a semblance of peace as we are entering the home stretch, though. I don't know that I understand it any better or have learned all that much, but I feel as though the struggles I am facing are a small reminder of the struggles Jesus had on His journey. My cross to bear is nothing in comparison with His.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Smell Your Hand!

My very excited 11 year old came up with that line in the car on the way home from the Chrism Mass in Spicer tonight. I could hardly believe the ball of energy chattering in the back seat was the same child who told me I would have to help him stay awake during the extra long Mass just two hours earlier. Shaking hands with the Bishop must have had quite the effect on him.

Tonight was the Mass where all of the holy oils to be used in the diocese for the upcoming year were blessed. We caravaned the hour and a half drive with some other members of our parish. The boys were barely sitting down when Father Jerry, our longtime pastor and the man who oversaw our return to the Church, came and sat with them for a couple of minutes. He ruffled hair and asked about school. He even made a suggestion about a future award they should work toward in Boy Scouts before he went back to put on his vestments.

All of the priests the boys knew from our diocese were there. Christian pointed out Father Brian, who had married Dave and me. Carter saw Father Jeremy, who was here when he received his First Communion. Christian had a chance to speak with Father Sam, of the daily Hail Mary fame. He was also able to speak to our own Father Paul and his assistant faith formation teacher from last year, who is now a seminary student.

The capper of the evening, however, was the Bishop. He is new to our diocese and this was his first Chrism Mass with us. Bishop LeVoir has a different approach than Archbishop Nienstedt, but it was still a beautiful and faith-filled event.

After the Mass was over, Carter went to the gathering area, firmly intent on finding Father Jeremy. Once he had a chance to say hello to him, the boy was on a mission. He was going to shake the Bishop's hand. He is small for his age and easily disappeated into the throng of people gathered around enjoying juice and cookies. It took just a moment before he was back for his brother. He had found the bishop by the doors and had been able to shake his hand. Now, he wanted the rest of us to have the opportunity.

We greeted Bishop LeVoir and said our good byes to the people we only see at the Chrism Mass each year. Of course, the biggest topic of conversation in the first few minutes was the chance to shake Bishop LeVoir's hand. Dave mentioned how he could smell the Chrism Oil and it must have rubbed off when he shook hands. Christian seemed a little confused, but Carter knew exactly what Dave meant. He closed his eyes as he held his right hand up near his nose. He took a deep breath and said "MMMMMMMMMMM". Christian was still a little confused and Carter said "Smell your hand, the one you used to shake hands with the Bishop!"

That was all it took. Christian figured it out. I have to say, the smell of Chrism is one of my favorite smells of all time. I am not sure how many times I have smelled my hand, the one I used to shake hands with the Bishop since we left Spicer, but it has brought a smile to my face each and every time.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Daily Introspection

I started Lent with the intention of daily reflection on my spiritual life and relationship with God. At the beginning, I thought it would be easy. There were a lot of topics rattling around in my brain, things I wanted to explore, areas of my life I wanted to dissect.

As we are nearing the end, I am finding it to be a daily challenge. Just because there was an idea rattling around doesn't mean it is easy to examine and certainly doesn't make it easy to translate into writing. Some topics wind up being way too intense while others seem very superficial. I don't know if this is accomplishing what I had hoped when this started.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Mass Attendance

Mass attendance is a pretty simple mandate. Most parishes have multiple opportunities to fulfil the mandate, either in the parish or in an area faith community. I don't understand why people choose to skip Mass. It is a weekly chance to spend time with Jesus in the real presence of the Eucharist. It is an opportunity to hear the word of God and to hear the priest's interpretation of the words and how it applies to daily living.

Mass isn't just about the sacraments, or receiving those sacraments for the first time. It is so much more.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Meal Prayers

Prayer before meals is a staple at our house. We usually say the Catholic table grace. Dave, however, was raised with, what we call, a Lutheran table grace. There are times when we choose to say that prayer instead.

Personally, my preference is the Catholic table grace. It is the table grace my family used when I was a child. It reminds me of my grandparents, especially my father's mother.

There are prayers before every meal at our home, even if we aren't all together. There are prayers before breakfast, lunch and supper. There are prayers at home and prayers in restaurants and prayers at family homes. We have individual prayers and family prayers. We are thankful for the blessings we have been given and it is such a small way to remember Who provided everything we have.

My fear is the prayers become routine, habit and not heartfelt. It becomes meaningless when there are only words said. If there isn't thought and reflection tied to the pray, it is easy to get distracted from what the words mean. I will focus on being present in the moment of prayer.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Spending Time With Jesus

Spending time with Jesus was something I thought you did by yourself. It could be quiet time in reflective prayer. It could be reading a daily devotional. It could be in song. It might even be in a specific devotional, like Stations of the Cross. I never thought of finding Jesus in a conversation with another person.

On a monthly basis, I take communion to the hospital. One week a month, I share a week with another person. We take communion Monday through Saturday and offer it to whichever Catholics are currently hospitalized. This week, I had Thursday through Saturday. Thursday, there were no Catholics. Friday and Saturday, there was only one.

There are days where taking communion to the hospital can be very quick. I have had days where I have been in and out within a half an hour and have taken communion to three or four people. Occasionally, there are days where it takes a little longer, but most people aren't feeling well and aren't really in the mood to visit. They are comforted by the time in prayer, but they are not usually looking for a lot of extra conversation.

This weekend, I spent more than two hours at the hospital. I wasn't visiting with people I used to work with years ago. I didn't hang out in the cafeteria, people watching. I was spending time with one woman, in a CCU room. She is elderly, facing her own eventual passing, knowing it is closer than the beginning of her life.

Jesus sat with her in her recliner this weekend. Her absolute faith shone through in each of several conversations. Her life story hasn't been an easy one, but she speaks of walking with Jesus, and you can tell she has perfect belief her life has been spent walking with Him. It wasn't just talking, it was living.

She had said she felt she was a nobody, no one would remember her when she was gone. I will remember her, her and her walk with Jesus.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Discipline

Discipline always has a negative connotation in my mind. Discipline is the consequence of poor choices and bad behavior. Discipline is never good.

We attended the 5pm Mass tonight. Father Paul's homily focused on discipline. He reminded us that discipline isn't always a bad thing. Discipline is what helps us focus on eating healthy, exercising regularly, reading a daily devotional. Discipline is a practice to keep us doing what we should be doing when we should be doing it.

Father spoke of attending Mass on a weekly basis as a discipline. I had thought I was a rather undisciplined person, unfocused and not very structured in many ways. We are disciplined in our weekly attendance at Mass. I am disciplined in my daily devotionals. For this week, I will work on applying discipline to my life in other areas. I will work on a discipline of daily exercise. I am hoping with a better attitude, this will come easier.

Catholic Connection

Today, as I waited for my son to arrive back at school on the shuttle bus, I had the opportunity to listen to Lino Rulli (That Catholic Guy), as he played Catholic Connection with Father Jim. For those who are unfamiliar with the program, seven rounds are played. It begins with a sound. After the sound, both Lino and Father Jim have 30 seconds to draw a correlation between the sound and the Catholic faith.

Some of the sounds have a more obvious connection than others. Today's first sound was harp music. I thought it was going to be an easy afternoon for the two of them, but things got a little more challenging as time went on. The latter sounds included the bubbling of a scuba diver's air tank and the bottle rattling against a hard surface during a game of Spin the Bottle.

Some of the answers are funny. Others are thought provoking. Finally, some are just people grasping at straws as they try to connect some abstract thoughts to their Catholic faith.

Listening to the show tonight, I realized how important it is to connect our Catholic faith to our daily lives. The connection needs to be there in all areas of our lives so we are aware of how we behave and the attitudes we have. Those should reflect our Catholic faith, even in the smallest details.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Giving It Up To God

I am a control freak. I like to be in control of just about every facet of my life and I have a horrible, terrible time giving up that control to someone else. It is something I have worked on, and continually work on, but I am not feeling like I am succeeding currently.

Right now, life is tough. The economy is having a very direct impact on our business and I am watching long standing customers go out of business...without paying their bills. I have developed friendships with the title clerks that are losing their jobs. I have heard about their children, their dreams, their goals, their histories, and now, their fears. I am torn between worrying about them and worrying about how our business is going to survive another round of businesses going under and skipping out on bills.

I haven't been sleeping right. I dream about car titles. I dream about bills. I dream about employees, and not just mine. I realized tonight that while I am dreaming about all of the things I am worrying about, I haven't really turned them over to God yet. In my infinite need for control, I haven't been able to let go of the situation. Somehow, I feel I have to handle all of these stressors on my own, even though they are nowhere near anything I can actually control.

Tonight, I will pray for peace and rest. Tonight, I will give it to God. Tomorrow, I will give it to God again, since I am sure this is something that will be a work in progress. I will have to continue this on a daily basis until I actually accomplish the job.

Tonight, though, I also pray for all of those impacted by the tensions of the economic issues at the dealerships: for the title clerks, office managers, receptionists, finance people, sales people, custodial staff and mechanics. I pray for peace, for the ability to listen to God's call, and for re-employment.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Abraham and Isaac

My Bible study continued through another chapter in Genesis. The miracle of new life through the birth of Isaac has blessed Abraham and Sarah. In today's study, Abraham is faced with the challenge of offering his son in sacrifice. I cannot imagine the angst I would feel if I were presented by that challenge. How would you trust God enough to know you were making the correct decision? How, if you were Isaac, would you trust your father enough to allow him to bind you and place you on the altar?

The faith and trust is beyond my comprehension. What an amazing and awesome testimony!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Reading the Bible

I have never been a big reader of the Bible. I have used the Bible as a reference tool. If I have had questions on a particular subject, I haven't hesitated to turn to its pages. There is a recipe box on the windsill in my kitchen with a number of Bible verses that have a personal significance for me that I can review when I see fit. Once upon a time, I even had the books of the Bible memorized

I am a voracious reader of secular literature. I read magazines, books, flyers, the internet, just about anything I can get my hands on. I have read murder mystery, greyhound literature, true crime books, romance novels, suspense thrillers, and history.

Today, as I read the chapter in Genesis between today's reflection and tomorrow's, I realized I am not sure why I haven't been willing to sit down with my Bible and simply read it. Currently, I am ready about the love story between Sarah and Abraham. I have already read about Cain's murder of Abel and the genealogy from Adam to Noah. The Bible contains all of the elements of books I have been drawn to read before.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

What Would You Do

I was listening to my IPod as I was cleaning the refrigerator this afternoon. I have quite a few cd's that have been saved to it, ranging from Gospel to Country to 50's and 60's Rock and Roll, along with quite a few podcasts from my favorite podcasters from SQPN.

I have probably heard those songs hundreds of times. Every time I am in the kitchen, I hit play. Sometimes I just play music. Other times, I listen to podcasts. Occasionally, I start at "A" and let them all play in alphabetical order.

Today, I started the music in the "W" section, with Waitin on a Woman, sung by Brad Paisley. It is one of my favorite songs. It is about an older man commiserating with a younger man about the joys of waiting for the woman of their life. It reminds me of Dave's grandparents, for some reason, even though I highly doubt Grandpa would have spoken about Grandma that way. I think it is because the lyrics portray a very real, very deep, very lasting love, that began in the morning of their lives and was now nearing the sunset.

What Would You Do (If Jesus Came to Your House) is the title of a song sung by Porter Wagoner. Obviously, in alphabetical order, it isn't that far behind Waitin on a Woman. Today it really caught my ear. The song runs through some scenarios of how people could or would react if Jesus showed up, knocking on their door one night.

The lyrics ask some tough questions about how you live and how acceptable it would be if Jesus actually did show up at dinnertime. Would you have to dig out your Bible? Would you need to change your normal dinner time conversation? Would it be hard to remember to say grace before the meal? And, possibly hardest of all, would you want Him to stay forever or would you feel a sense of relief when the door closed with Him on the other side?

So often, music is background noise, but there are definitely some valuable messages that can be learned when I truly listen. I don't see those positive messages quite so often in more modern music, but they are still there. The older country/gospel songs, though, have plenty of food for thoughts.

For tonight I will have to consider what I would do if Jesus knocked.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Have You Made a Difference?

We attended the 5pm Mass this evening. It was a very well attended Mass. The readings continued their focus on our Lenten journey, but are starting to bring us closer to the light of Christ's resurrection. Father challenged us, during his homily, to evaluate what we have done with our lives. He asked us to reflect on what we have done to make a positive impact on our surroundings. He reminded us action doesn't have to be on a global level or a national level, but it can, and should, be acts of mercy on a local level.

The question is, then, have you made a difference in your local community?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Incense

Several years ago, I had an aversion to incense. The scent, I thought, was heavy and cloying. It made the air too thick and made it difficult to breathe. I dreaded the scent of incense. At some point, I realized I put too much emphasis on what other people think and believe and didn't always trust my own judgment. When I opened myself up a little further, I realized it wasn't so much that I didn't like the incense, but it was someone I knew, loved and respected that didn't like incense. Because of that, I hadn't allowed myself to feel anything but comtempt for incense.

Tonight, at Stations of the Cross, I am again reminded of how my view point has been changed. The incense makes the devotional seem more reverent. It adds an atmosphere to the evening that cannot be captured through the prayers and songs on its own. There is a dimension added, a fullness.

Tonight, I give thanks for incense, the reverence it brings, and the Stations of the Cross I was able to experience this evening.

Rainbow Bridge

We have owned greyhounds for almost five years. Currently, we have our original boy, a girl we brought home two years later, her half brother we brought home last June and their mother, who came home last August. We have been involved with our adoption group's yahoo group and an online greyhound community since before our first guy came home.

I know most pet owners will grieve the loss of their pets, whether the death is a natural death at the end of a long life or if it comes suddenly as the result of accident or illness. The story of the Rainbow Bridge is often repeated. Even if the story isn't repeated in its entirety, many times people will speak of their pet going to "The Bridge", including us, when the pet dies.

The story of the Rainbow Bridge is very touching. I am attaching a link to the Wikipedia page that explains the history of it. (Rainbow Bridge) I want to believe it exists. I want to believe there is a golden lab/German Shepherd mix, a Scottie, a Westie, and several cats frolicking in the sun, rolling in the grass, chasing each other around, waiting for us to arrive at the Rainbow Bridge, so we can cross over together into heaven.

We won't know what is there until the time comes when we pass from this life, but as much as I want to believe in the fantasy, I know in my heart of hearts this isn't the reality that is waiting.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Inferior or Inspired?

Today is Day 4 of the devotional I am doing with the Catholic Woman's Devotional Bible. The reading today was the story of Cain and Abel. From a parent's perspective, it always strikes me as almost humorous, in a sad sort of way, when Cain says to God, "Am I my brother's keeper?" God, as our heavenly Father, even without being an all knowing Father, would have seen right through that. Cain might have thought he had the upper hand for just a moment, but any parent worth their salt knows when their child is lying to them, and he couldn't have been any more obvious unless he had confessed outright.

The devotional portion today was focused on the jealousy Cain felt because God preferred Abel's offering. The story that went along with it was about a group of women who attended a quilt show. They were quilters themselves, but not necessarily of the caliber of the quilters whose pieces were being displayed. One woman, while looking at a particularly well done quilt, asked the others if looking at the pieces made them feel inferior because their work wasn't the same quality or inspired to bring their work up to the same level.

That is a difficult question for many people, I am sure. I know, personally, there are times where I might feel inferior and other times where I might feel inspired, depending on what it is and where I am in my life. People around me often inspire me in spiritual ways. There is a woman in our parish who seemingly does it all. Not only that, she has a humble bearing and quiet demeanor which comes through in everything I have ever seen her do at Church. She inspires me to be more like her in her reverence and her willingness to serve.

Then there is the woman from Church who accomplishes most of what she does through serving. She is a leader and a strong woman, but primarily works on more humble tasks. She inspires me to do what needs to be done.

In almost all matters parenting and wifely, I find myself struggling with feeling inferior to others. I don't feel inspired to do more or do differently when I hear the stories of successful wives and mothers. I see the imaginary measuring stick where I am falling short.

For today, I will look for inspiration in my roles, both as wife and mother, rather than feeling inferior when I hear the stories of others who do more, or better, or are better organized or who keep a better home or prepare better meals.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Communication in Prayer

As I have posted about previously, Father Sam had asked us previously to say a Hail Mary for him each day. As part of our morning prayers, we have been including a Hail Mary for Father Sam. Our normal routine includes prayers for people we know who are in need of God's touch in their lives.

This morning, after morning prayer, our oldest asked if there was something wrong with Father Sam. After we assured him Father was fine, we explained Father's request for a Hail Mary. He was relieved Father was ok, especially considering two other priests from our diocese passed away earlier this week.

I, however, learned it is important to communicate why we are praying what we are praying if we are praying in a group, even if it is a family prayer.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Stations of the Cross and Benediction

We arrived for Benediction tonight. Typically, Adoration ends with the Rosary. Tonight, though, it ended with Stations of the Cross. It was beautiful. Ending the day with my favorite devotional, in the presence of Jesus, was even more amazing than our Friday night Stations of the Cross. I don't know if this was something different tonight or a different approach because it is Lent, but we will definitely have to go back again next week.

Benediction, tonight!

Last week, due to inclement weather, Adoration was suspended early. We still spent about 20 minutes at the Church, praying as a family, before we went home for the night. It was good to come together as a family in prayer at Church without another reason to be there. It is a different feel to pray in the quiet of the Church, without all the busy preparations for the Mass going on around me.

Tonight, we go back, as a family. This will be the first time CD will have experienced Benediction. Our oldest has been to Benediction one time before. This afternoon, after supper, we will gather our rosaries, some prayer material, and go to the Church. I am looking forward to it already.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Starting a New Devotional

The Catholic Women's Devotional Bible begins the devotions on a Monday. I am relieved it doesn't begin on a certain date. I only had to wait a few days from the day I knew it was time to re-start until the day when I could begin at the beginning.

Today, I begin at the beginning, the beginning of all. The opening reflection is on the seven days of Creation, and the breathing in of Life God did for the world at that time. The reflection compares the life saving act we perform through CPR with the Life God gave to us at the very beginning. It was a comparison I hadn't considered. What CPR does is nothing, in actuality, compared to God's creation of the world, but it is a real life comparison that gives us an opportunity to see God in action the way He has been since the beginning of time.

I felt peace today, really, for the first time since Saturday. It came today with the reading of the Bible.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Stations of the Cross, Take Two

I found the link to a wonderful Stations of the Cross devotion on another blog this morning. I have been looking for something I could use as a devotional at home for the Stations of the cross and I think this will be just the devotional. We have one recorded and saved on our TiVO, but that isn't terribly convenient for using in other areas of the house.

Here it is, in case you wanted to see it as well:
Stations of the Cross


Thank you to John Jansen, at Catholic Dads,
(Catholic Dads), for the link!

Peace Through Prayer

It is 4am. I haven't yet been able to sleep tonight. Yesterday was an unsettling day. The kind of day one hopes to have rarely, if ever. It was a day that should have been good. It was the end of the year basketball potluck and award ceremony. I quoted four car deals for three separate dealers, two of whom even pay upfront. I closed two files in the office, not bad for a Saturday. We slept in as a family. I had a wonderful love letter from my husband. It was my birthday.

The day didn't end on a high note, though. Tonight, I struggle to turn it over to God in prayer. I feel my mind racing ahead when I try to slow down to speak with God. I can't quite focus on what I want to say, or what I want, or what I am really thinking. I feel used, but maybe I should feel peace I am able to be used as a connector. I feel second in my family, which was driven home by a number of points and people this weekend, but maybe I should feel being second is a reminder of how we need to live our lives with another as the primary focus. Maybe this weekend is a humbling event, designed to bring me closer to God.

Or maybe, this just sucks.

Either way, I am struggling with my inability to find peace in prayer tonight. Usually, it is a comforting balm. Even if I don't feel a solution is forthcoming or the situation is going to get better any time soon, I usually feel a peace at making a connection with God. Tonight, I can't even remember all of the Mysteries of the Rosary and would rather not be up, wandering the house and disturbing others to get the booklet from the prayer table with all of the Mysteries. So, here I am, sitting at a laptop in the dark of my bedroom, listening to my husband breathe, scratching a dog or two's years from time to time, waiting for the alarm to go off so we can get ready to go to Mass. Maybe there, I will catch up to God for our conversation.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Daily Devotionals, Take Three

We have been continuing our Lenten Daily Devotional. Today, our youngest asked if he could do the reading. The discussion topic was about Oedipus. The words were a little challenging considering the subject matter, but he did a great job. I am happy to see him taking an active role in living our faith as a family rather than merely "suffering" through the experience.

Thank you, Lord, for touching his heart and drawing him closer to You.

Friday, March 13, 2009

An AHA Moment!

In an earlier post, I had talked about looking for a daily devotional that would be spiritually fulfilling. Yesterday, I was using my Catholic Women's Devotional Bible for some research on Purgatory. A random thought sprang into my mind about someone I know who started her introduction to Bible reading by reading a chapter of Proverbs every day for a month, then repeating the next month since Proverbs has 31 chapters. Then, I had my Aha! moment.

It is a Catholic Women's Devotional Bible. The Bible study begins in Genesis, on a Monday. The daily study takes you all the way through the Bible in about a year.

I think I just found my devotional.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Purgatory, a Cleansing Fire

Purgatory has been a topic of conversation I have been more aware of this Lenten season than I have in any past year. It came up at our Lenten retreat last week. There have been articles in the papers. Today, I listened to Lino, The Catholic Guy, and it was one of their topic areas.

Frankly, Purgatory has been a foreign concept to me. It was briefly mentioned in a college course when I was a freshmen. The professor was talking about the Irish Potato Famine and a woman's fear of dying and spending an eternity in Purgatory. That was the last I really ever heard of Purgatory until more than a decade later.

At the Lenten retreat, the focus was on the Seven Deadly Sins. The discussion centered on Dante's interpretation of the seven layers of Purgatory, with Pride being the foundation and working its way up to the top of the Seven Deadly Sins, Lust. It has provided the motivation for a more in-depth look into what Purgatory is and what it means to me, as a Catholic.

I spent some time with my Bible. There are two primary references to purgatory, even though it is never named as "Purgatory" in any Scripture. The first is in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 3, verse 15: "If the work is burned up, the builder will suffer loss; the builder will be saved, but only as through fire." Fire can destroy anything in its path. At the same time, metal having gone through fire is stronger.

The second is from 1 Peter, Chapter 1, verse 7: "so that the genuineness of your faith- being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Lino Rulli mentioned there is a third reference, which is not found in the King James Bible. It is in 2 Maccabees. I will need to spend some time in reflection, prayer, and reading since I missed the actual reference.

When I started this reflection, I thought of Purgatory as something to fear. With what I have read so far, I am not sure fear is the right word. Definitely, Purgatory is something that should be respected. However, if fire is what tests us and brings us closer to God, it should be more of an ideal. After all, as best as we know, we do not descend from Purgatory in to Hell. We do ascend from Purgatory to Heaven, though. It is only a passing through place to a greater ending.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Mysterious Ways

I got up this morning with a set plan for my life. AM routine, kids ready for school, morning prayer, kids to school, downtime, office, Soup and Sermon at 11:45, meeting at 1, finish up in the office, supper, evening routine, teach Faith Formation, drop off my vehicle for an oil change, and then home for homework and then bed. That is not how the day panned out.

CD had a little incident on the ski slopes last Saturday. He was hit in the head by a ski that flew off someone's boot when they wiped out. He has been dealing with some headaches and memory issues which are increasing in frequency and severity rather than decreasing.

I had the second call on a school day in the early morning class hours looking for feedback on a headache which had already been treated by an over the counter medication. I contacted his doctor, who ordered a CT Scan...in fifteen minutes. He was in school ten minutes away in the opposite direction. I asked them to call the scheduler and let them know we would be there as soon as possible and I left to pick him up.

Instead of Soup and Sermon, we had a quick trip from school to hospital. I called one of my Emmaus Sisters and asked her to send out a prayer request. By the time CD was registered, Emmaus women were already praying for him.

CD was sent back to school, per the doctor's authorization. On the way back to to town, I spoke with someone who was bringing the Eucharist to the hospital this week. She needed a sub to fill in for her. Instead of Soup and Sermon for my own benefit, I was able to bring the Eucharist to several people at our local hospital.

Today did not go as I had planned. I was disappointed I was going to miss my own participation in some annual Lenten traditions for our parish. In the long run, though, the Lord met my spiritual needs, even if it wasn't what I had originally thought it should be.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Missed Adoration

Our parish hosts Adoration every Tuesday. Benediction is usually at 7:40 pm. We are in the midst of a winter storm tonight, but a change of schedule wasn't announced on our local radio station's cancellation list. We headed out for a quick trip to Wal-Mart to pick up some pictures we had developed and then headed over to the Church.

On the way, CD and I discussed what to expect, since he had never been there before. He was pretty excited as we headed up the front steps. We ducked out of the snow into the back of the Church, the back of the dark Church.

Candles were still lit on the alter. The book was open on the altar. It was quiet. The monstrance had already been retired. As a family, we knelt in the front pew. Each of us were lost in our own quiet, reflective prayer. Even though Adoration was over for the day, it was nice to pray quietly, as a family.

As we left the Church, CD asked if we could come to the Church anytime, and pray like that. I think we will be back for Benediction next week.