Giving It Up To God

I am a control freak. I like to be in control of just about every facet of my life and I have a horrible, terrible time giving up that control to someone else. It is something I have worked on, and continually work on, but I am not feeling like I am succeeding currently.

Right now, life is tough. The economy is having a very direct impact on our business and I am watching long standing customers go out of business...without paying their bills. I have developed friendships with the title clerks that are losing their jobs. I have heard about their children, their dreams, their goals, their histories, and now, their fears. I am torn between worrying about them and worrying about how our business is going to survive another round of businesses going under and skipping out on bills.

I haven't been sleeping right. I dream about car titles. I dream about bills. I dream about employees, and not just mine. I realized tonight that while I am dreaming about all of the things I am worrying about, I haven't really turned them over to God yet. In my infinite need for control, I haven't been able to let go of the situation. Somehow, I feel I have to handle all of these stressors on my own, even though they are nowhere near anything I can actually control.

Tonight, I will pray for peace and rest. Tonight, I will give it to God. Tomorrow, I will give it to God again, since I am sure this is something that will be a work in progress. I will have to continue this on a daily basis until I actually accomplish the job.

Tonight, though, I also pray for all of those impacted by the tensions of the economic issues at the dealerships: for the title clerks, office managers, receptionists, finance people, sales people, custodial staff and mechanics. I pray for peace, for the ability to listen to God's call, and for re-employment.