Holy Thursday

I struggle with Holy Thursday. All right, to be honest, my current theme is struggle. I struggle in all areas of faith. But, more than my usual issues, I *struggle* with Holy Thursday. Holy Thursday, no matter what date it falls on, will always be the day I associate with my mother-in-law's death.

It is the day my world turned upside down. It is the day that was the beginning of a long, lonely, seven year separation from my faith.

Her life was about service. She served her church faithfully. She believed in serving others through food programs and Bible School. Tonight's Mass is focused on service, from the scriptures to the washing of feet by the parish priest. This might need to be a topic for me to reflect on and pray about. Possibly, I should be looking to draw comfort from those parallels rather than focusing on the losses we have experienced.

Remembering Carol always: 2/19/41-3/27/1997

Falling Down

I have been falling down on the job. Even in this time of Lent, I am feeling disconnected. The challenge is figuring out why the disconnect is happening and taking steps to cover that gap. It isn't that I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am praying. I am attending Mass. I am studying our Rediscovering Catholicism. I am actively involved with our Faith Formation class. I have attended Stations of the Cross. I am planning on attending the Chrism Mass. I am just not quite "feeling" what I should be feeling. Last year's Lenten journey was amazing. This year, I feel flat.